Aurelia

Through out this week, I’ve been through a lot i can say. Ups and down in life, thats for sure. We been through that everyday. But smth diff is that, yea, its finally my turn… Now i really feel it. I went through times when i know my close frens were ill. Times where im afraid to lose her in this world. Times where i kept asking myself, will she be fine? Or the other way round? Will she leave us all? Will God call her back? I’ve cried so many times, i’ve been down the whole week last week because of this. I broke into tears infront of so many ppl during my choir practice in church that day. I really can’t stand it anymore. Yea i understand that she doesn’t want me to be too worry for her thats y she’s not telling me what is her sickness. But y do she stopped half way when she’ve already let me know her condition and everything? I really wanted to know the name of her sickness… What is the caused of it? What can i do? Seriously, i was really really really worry abt her. Who can i share all this with? I really dunnoe! End up, all that i can do is jz cry out my heart! I prayed to God so hard hopping that he won’t take her home! I really dun wanna been through all this in this year which i wanna concentrate on my studies! I’m really sick of all this.

Does it have to happened that i have to attend a funeral every year? (touch wood) I’m not cursing or anything! But it happened twice already that i’ve lost a fren in a year since the past 2 years! Though they weren’t my close frens, but still i cried for it so badly! Wad more if to say now that it might be one of my close fren? I really don’t dare to think of how bad will I feel if that time comes! My frens and classmates kept wondering why am i crying for…. No reason? Cos they dunnoe abt this? And i’ve been lying a lot since then. In order to cover all this! Its jz a small matter compare to what she’s going through now! Though i have to lie the rest of my life for my good frens, i will do so! I jz dun wan God to call them back rite now! At this age, at this time! I know that i need to go through every trials that God give to me in order to grow everyday!

But im jz feeling too weak for all this! Maybe its because those wound from the past trials had jz recover and i’m not ready for my next trials yet! Haihz! Though she told me that she’s getting better but still i’m worried! I really hope that she’ll recover before her b’day this year! So that we can all have fun like before again! Together be in the school team to fight like last year for handball! =) If only we gets to join the competition this year! hmm… Rite now, i feel the pain where u can’t get things up when u really need someone to talk to abt it! Things where u’ve to keep it and lie to everyone abt it! Jz dun understand y some ppl can jz keep lying on everything jz to show off? I really find it very hard to tell even a single lie and the best is jz to pretend tat i dunnoe anything even though they get angry of questioning me. Sigh~! Poor me.. Sob sob T_T Oh wellz! Life! Jz need to accept it! I hope i can get through this, this time. Bla~! haihz! Really feel so tired! Hope my condition wont get worse. =( I wanna be healthy the whole year so that i can do well in my SPM! I wanna have good results! ARgh!!!!! Have been struggling lately! problems! Plz dun come to me anymore k? *gEez!

DAMN!!!!!!!!!! I tot that this year would be a nice year for everybody, Who knows baru 1st day nia dy liddat liaw… Everything was fine through out the day untill jz now around 10 smth! I was at michelle’s place. we were having fun, happy happy playing and was even planning to go to starbucks for a drink… But the evironment turn out sux and moody when their F***ing Dumb aSS shiT Hole Neighbour came home! This is how the story goes. Our fren, parked his car at his gate there (aiya, wad u expect? No place to park wad) But he go move his car dy ma when he knows that he is back…. Our fren tok to him so nicely, call him uncle summore ar. My fren ask him wanna park har? And even wave at him as a respect sign! Who knows that stupid uncle go simply scold ppl la sap kia! OMG! Who want rite?? Imagine if u din even do rong and ppl suddenly scold u liddat… Sure angry rite??? Wad more to say our that fren is like….. So my fren with his bay song-ness go and ask him to say sorry… He refuse to so they started quarreling and arguing lo… Haihz! Make till so tua su! Ppl CNY lai happy happy one but becos of tht stupid ah pek, things turn out to be liddat. It was a very big argue. They started it 1st wad.. That ah pek even ask her wife to get things out like really wanna choi su liddat… Then her wife also ask their ppl to cum.. So our fren angry lo… Say u call ppl means wad har?? U knw how to call i dunnoe mer??? The rest of us try so hard to stop them ar >< If no, oredi can see blood around the floor liaw… Sigh~! sien liaw… We actually dy wanna suak liaw, Who knows they lai kok.. Jia our fren kok…. Mich’s mum shouted too cos she bay tahan liaw… She edi want them to stop liaw ma.. That CB ah pek mouth so PB! I think he eat tiok SHit or smth ar.. Mouth damn smelly! I really dun dare to imgine wad actually will happened if no one stopped them from all this…. That word, La sap kia is actually scolding ur parents! Our fren were like, U can scold me anything but NOT MY PARENTS! U want or not now i scold ur children liddat??? Wad my mum did wrong to u??? she got sleep with u mer??? Haha.. That ah pek tiam nia… Bay chut sia kie liaw…But he still kek like he very kei sie liddat… PB ar! I heard from mich and her mum that, that ah pek very PB and Nyaw chi one…. Their flower pot ar put at their gate there, kena their place a bit nia he scold like hell and go kick their flower pot liaw.. Not only that, CNY every year they wanna put firework also cannot.. He scold like hell and go kick their flower pot again… Where got ppl liddat one??? Really crazy rite??? So jz now when we pull them all back inside the house, everyone cool liaw… So go back home lo.. Mich’s mum call me after that and tell me that that ah pek call the police! So bu jiang dau li one bo! He go tell the police that he din say anything o… He say he did nothing but all of us keep scolding them.. WTF!!!!!!!!!! So fake man!!!! But he’s still gonna be the looser cos There are more then 10 of us listening to wad he said…. If i got neighbour liddat ar, i rather die lo…. Really admire mich’s mum cos she can stand him till today! It was really terrifying la jz now… Even wanna keluar weapon liaw… Haihz! my leg were stepped so many times cos i try to stopped them… Its not call busy body la hor??? Haha… If i dun do so, wad can i do ler?? Stand there watch movie mer??? Ceh~! I’m not that type of person… But it dosnt mean that i’m the kepo type one la.. XD

Haihz! I prayed that this year wont be any quarrel between my bro and dad… Ya thank you God u listen to my prayer.. But Y must there be at least smth happened ler??? Y i can never get to be happy on the 1st day of CNY?? Sad rite??? Haihz! Next time i better add on that i hope the world will be in peace… haihz!!! OH GOD!